November

If I told you I loved you
Would you hold me to it?
I never knew what those words would entail
Just that I'd miss you like hell
Its a cruel hand that we've been dealt
When you're so far and when I'm down like this
But even then you loved me at my lowest
And it may seem to be a strange coincidence
How we fell together like puzzle pieces
Call it serendipitous, call if fate
All I know is I haven't been the same
Ever since I saw you that day
Now you're begging me to say
That everything will be okay
And you ask me if I knew what I was doing
When I knelt on one knee
Well darling, I would do it again and again
Cause you're the only thing I would never change
And you're begging me to stay
Now that the worse is over
But its still November
And our time hasn't come
But it won't be long
Till I'm no longer gone

open at the start

Going back to where it all started
To where everything's one
And everyone's connected
Where nothing is left undone

Crazy how we spend our days
Chasing what we can never catch
Searching for a bit of happiness
Like its something to be found
Spent all winter at the bottom of myself
Killing time, waiting for my head to unwind

Going back to where it all started
To where everything's one
And everyone's connected
Where nothing is left undone
Maybe it will bring me back to my senses
And past all the denseness

Never found what I was looking for
Cause it never was where I was at
So afraid to open the door
Never realizing that there might be something more
But when you tore me apart
I found my heart

Going back to where it all started
To where everything's one
And everyone's connected
Where nothing is left undone
Maybe it will bring me back to my senses
And past all the denseness

kingdom came

so i know you're the only that reads this, hopefully i can find the words to say how i feel right now

Driving through the night sky
Watching America fly by
Counting down the miles
That lie between you and i
Tried my best to speed up time
But got caught behind the second hand
Swimming through the hourglass sand

If the distance doesn't kill me
The loneliness surely will
I'm trying to stay positive
And remember all the things you've said
Well you're the only thing inside my head

The tire tread is wearin thin
Just like my patience is
I'm on borrowed strength these days
But this waiting game
Is almost done
And kingdom is about to come


If the distance doesn't kill me
The loneliness surely will
I'm trying to stay positive
And remember all the things you've said
Well you're the only thing inside my head

Whatever it takes

Even if I break

We'll make it through

We'll make it through

when morning comes

Tell me what's on your mind
Cause I can't figure out
What's going on behind those eyes
Don't know what you've been hiding from
But if I made it go away
Would you stay another day

I'm fighting myself
Just to keep you around
Letting my baggage go
That's been holding me down
Getting rid of those skeletons
That were never my friends
And even though it happened once
It won't happen again

Can't take how you hold yourself down
And listen to those lies
That keep you up at night
And I know that you're scared
And can't escape your mind
But one day I'll find a way
To get through to you

I'm fighting myself

Just to keep you around

Letting my baggage go

That's been holding me down

Getting rid of those skeletons

That were never my friends

And even though it happened once

It won't happen again

home

Well its just like you
To always want what you couldn't have
And there's just so much
That I could never give to you
So I packed my bags and left the only home
I've ever known

I can't keep falling apart like this
Begging you to pick up the pieces
And put this mess back together

northern hemisphere

Yea it took a little over twenty years
But I finally got you here
And this northern hemisphere
Just isn't as empty anymore
Even though I'm more of a gamble
Than that sea
You still took a chance on me

We could spend all night
Listening to that moon sing
And when morning lights
I'd bring you home with me
To that little tree off center street

I used to write lullaby's
For those broken hearted lovers of mine
But they're still crying
So I left them with Gregory and Evelyn
But don't worry, I'll send them
A fine farewell saying all is well
Just tell them I've got a girl in mind
And not enough time

We could spend all night
Listening to that moon sing
And when morning lights
I'd bring you home with me
To that little tree off center street

And if Sunday comes
And I'm still not back
I'm not as far gone
As you think

in our minds

My biggest regrets
Have always been the what ifs
In my head
And all the things I never said
Missed one too many opportunities
And I know its asking a lot
For you to wait for me
We never were the patient type

Saw the sorrow in your eyes
From all the problems that I've caused
But as long as you keep fighting
I'll be by your side
The room's a little dark
But theres a light on the horizon
As soon as we make it out
I can be yours and you can be mine

Seems like every day we spend together
Keeps threatening to unravel
And all the things we've worked towards
Keep trying to tear us apart
But we've traveled too far
To lose hope now
But if this what it takes
I won't mind making my own grave
If its what saves us for another day

Saw the sorrow in your eyes

From all the problems that I've caused

But as long as you keep fighting

I'll be by your side

The room's a little dark

But theres a light on the horizon

As soon as we make it out

I can be yours and you can be mine

bucket list/dreams

Got this bucket full of dreams
And it just seems that i'll never finish
Any of them
I know its a bit pessimistic
But its so much harder to be an optimist
So instead i'll live my dreams through you
Watch you finish the things i never could

So i keep looking to the sky
Waiting for a new direction
Doing what i can to get by
Watch as others inspect my life
Keep wondering when things will change
And counting down the days
Till I'm not a stranger anymore

Well my imagination keeps me occupied
Takes my focus off the things i never tried
I'm living my life through day dreams
And it seems
That the world is just too hard to live in these days
So i'm building a new one
and I don't care what they say
Cause when its done
They'll all want to join me

So i keep looking to the sky

Waiting for a new direction

Doing what i can to get by

Watch as others inspect my life

Keep wondering when things will change

And counting down the days 

Till I'm not a stranger anymore

Days

Counting down the days
Till I see her face
I don't know who she is
Or where she's been
But I knew when she caught my eye
That she was the one
I've been waiting for

Just another love song
Written about someone
Who could never do me wrong
Still don't know her name
But it's all the same
If she'll stay with me

Tried to think of something to say
Tried not to let her get away
But she kept slipping through my fingers
Tried not to think of her
Tried to meet someone new
If she only knew
What she was doing to me

Just another love song
Written about someone
Who could never do me wrong
Still don't know her name
But it's all the same
If she'll stay with me

moving on

Plans

We laid our lives out
Beneath the stars
And made all these plans
We knew we'd never keep
Talked about how we'd never be apart
But now we're back to where we started
And I can't help but wonder
How this all came about

Yea these past two weeks
Meant everything to me
And I meant every word I said
But did you mean any of it
And how I put myself on the line
Just to be told the timing wasn't right
Well this will be the last time

I could feel the distance grow
With each day that passed
Stayed up each night
Wondering how long this would last
Thinking it was just a phase
I kept on with this smile on my face
Never expecting it to end like this

Yea these past two weeks
Meant everything to me
And I meant every word I said
But did you mean any of it
And how I put myself on the line
Just to be told the timing wasn't right
Well this will be the last time

So we've gone our separate ways
Each day I hear less and less from you
It's taken the best of me
Just to get through this
But don't worry, I'll get through this

Doors

We keep playing these game
Only to end up running in circles
Every time you close the door
I try to open it back up

So I saw you with a new guy
I think that's the third this month
And I can't understand
How you can turn your heart off
So easily

We keep playing these games
Only to end up running in circles
And every time you close the door
I try to open it back up
Well it's the same story
We've all heard before
Stuck on repeat
Like the last few weeks

Now I'm back to where we started
But you're already gone
Don't know why I keep holding on
To something that was never there

chorus

Numbers

Erased your number
And your name along with it
All those messages
And every conversation we had
Well if you'll pretend that nothing happened
I'll pretend that I never cared

So we keep on looking
For someone new to fill that void
And I'll keep hoping that
That someone wasn't you

Like a good drug
she left me empty and numb
She was my greatest addiction
Always trying to get my fix in
kept coming back for more
Just to feel more alone

So we keep on looking
For someone new to fill that void
And I'll keep hoping that
That someone wasn't you

couches

(because the last one was kind of a downer, and you deserve better than that)

Been so long
Since I last felt whole
But I've found that missing piece
Used to be afraid to fall
Until I found someone to land on

It's the way you stay up late
And give up sleep
Just for me
And how you rub your nose on my sweater
Don't think it could much better
Well tell me darling, could this last forever

We laid on your couch
As the world passed us by
With your hand in mine
We had time on our side
Never thought life could be so good
Until I met you

It's the way you stay up late

And give up sleep
Just for me

And how you rub your nose on my sweater

Don't think it could much better

Well tell me darling, could this last forever

Tell me all your dreams

And I'll make them come true

Don't know much, but I know this for sure

through the dirt

Yea I've got my demons
You say you want to meet them
Well I don't think that's such a good idea
You see they've been hunting me for years now
And I've been running
Like the scared little boy that I am

Drag me through the dirt
Just once more for good measure
You've got me on my knees
Begging for some relief
I've got nothing left to stand on
You took that long ago
So cut me open
And tear me down
Let me know
If you find anything worth keeping

If there's anything left of me
I won't recognize it
Lost so much of myself
Even though it wasn't worth much
It's all I had
So pull me through the ringer
Maybe I should thank you
For making me see
That I'm less than I thought I was

Drag me through the dirt

Just once more for good measure

You've got me on my knees

Begging for some relief

I've got nothing left to stand on

You took that long ago

So cut me open
And tear me down
Let me know
If you find anything worth keeping

Can't live up to your expectations
So why even try
I hope you enjoy being alone
You're the only one that's perfect
In this world

Eggs in a basket

My basket broke
The day she left
With one fell swoop
I lost my eggs too
Just like that
I was back to the drawing board

Well if this is a test
I've learned my lesson
It's better not to trust anyone
Than get your heart broken

Closed up shop that day
Told everyone to go away
I was out of business
With nothing left to keep going

Well if this is a test
I've learned my lesson
It's better not to trust anyone
Than get your heart broken

She was flying high
While I was stuck on the ground
But now the tables have turned
And she finally learned
That everything comes around

Well if this a test
I've learned my lesson
It's better not to trust anyone
Than get your heart broken

Wait

You've got me waiting
And I'm still debating
If this is really worth it
Well I'm more than a little stressed out
Still trying to figure you out
Keep reading between the lines
Just to find there nothing really there

Keep leading me on
Won't mind if you drop me off
I was never one to play games
Keep calling my name
But don't wait up
I won't be coming home tonight

Did you take me for the jealous type
When you dangled your guys
In front of me
Don't care if you talk to my friends
Cause they never cared for you
Well if you haven't figure it out by now
You probably never will

Keep leading me on
Won't mind if you drop me off
I was never one to play games
Keep calling my name
But don't wait up
I won't be coming home tonight

I got over you
So get over yourself
You never were that great
In the first place

Tulips

Woke up in a field of tulips
Next to the castle you built for me
Looked across the scenery
To that wilted tree
Where you sang to me

Saw the river
Where i carried you across
Brought back the day
When I saw your face
Pulled down the stars
And wrote your name
Stretched across the sky
Like your favorite lullaby

Tore down the mountains
That got in the way
Filled up the valleys
That lay in between
I never would complain
If thats what it takes

Saw the river
Where i carried you across
Brought back the day
When I saw your face
Pulled down the stars
And wrote your name
Stretched across the sky
Like your favorite lullaby

Sang this song through the night
Swallowed the sky to see the light
Grew old by that wilted tree
Got caught between my dreams
Woke up from this restless sleep
Made my way back to the tulips
Back to where I first saw you

Cities

We packed our bags
And headed for the city
Just two kids in love
With nothing but the ground
To hold us up

I'll catch you
When the world starts falling
I'll be there
When the stars burn up the night

They said we'd never make it
This world is just to cold
Forget about the cynics
And what they said
Let's paint this city red

I'll catch you
When the world starts falling
I'll be there
When the stars burn up the night

We took pictures
Of all your favorite places
Made our own little world
Found a way to escape
All the things we couldn't change

Stitches (Across my mind)

Got these stitches in my mouth
To keep the words from coming out
Just need more time
To separate my thoughts from my mind

It was so much so fast
I just couldn't keep up
She's been racing across my mind
I've been breaking my back
Just to keep time

My heads still spinning
And my stomachs still churning
She flipped my world around
With just one word
Try to find some steady ground
Just to stop myself from falling down

It was so much so fast
I just couldn't keep up
She's been racing across my mind
I've been breaking my back
Just to keep time

Got these stitches in my mouth
To keep the words from coming out

storms and sunshine

Spent most my life
Waiting for the sun to shine
Searching for that greener grass
Never content with what I have
Only looking at what's missing

Still waiting for a break in the storm
Trying to make my way back to shore
Throw me a safety net or anything
Just keep me from drowning

If I ever find a silver lining
I won't complain about the timing
I can see a storm on the horizon
Maybe I'll find it
Just close my eyes and hold on tight

Still waiting for a break in the storm
Trying to make my way back to shore
Throw me a safety net or anything
Just keep me from drowning

If you get me through the storm
I promise I'll be more
Won't complain about the past
And just be glad it didn't last

keys

so this is my first time really using a blog site, never been much for blogging. anyways don't know if anyone will ever see this, but i made it more myself anyways. i finally realized over the past couple weeks that writing songs is kind of like my way of keeping a journal, i'm pretty proud of the songs i've written and they all have a special meaning for me. maybe they'll have a different meaning for me, and maybe they will help you out in some way. anyways, heres the first of many:

Keys

Been hiding inside myself

Waiting for the right person to let me out

Been lying to myself

Thinking no one else understands

I threw away that key long ago

Hid it underneath the sea

Hoping no one would find the real me

Begging please, just stay away

Never knew what I was missing

Never knew how sweet life could be

Been hiding inside myself

Waiting for the right person to let me out

Been lying to myself

Thinking no one else understands

Been trying to find the words

To say what I really mean

Saw a light so bright

It lit up my dark

Found a way to say

Everything I mean

Found the missing piece

Where I buried that key